It won't always be easy

Today's run was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame. Yes. That many Os.

The good:Overall speed was acceptable (11:24 pace overall). We finished. I did not puke or anything else. I got out and ran even though I seriously didn't want to or feel like it.

The bad:
So much burping. Eww. My initial pace was a slow, pitiful crawl. Everything hurt and my legs felt like lead. I repeatedly wanted to quit and/or curl up in a ball and cry. Also, it felt really really hot (it was not that hot, maybe like 90F). Humidity was about 60%.

The ugly:
About 10 minutes in as we were getting ready to start the first speed interval, I accidentally yelled at Matt. I didn't feel angry at him before or after it happened, so we were both taken by surprise. It was basically one of those instances where I had to repeat myself because Matt couldn't hear me, and I let my tone get out of control.

With that run and all its emotional baggage behind me, I want to step back and evaluate some stuff.
Somehow, miraculously, this crazy plan is working. I've never done anything like this in my life. It is hard and unnatural. But folks, I just ran 5 3/4 miles on Saturday. I. Did. That. It's unbelievable.
It's been over a three and a half years since the first time I ran a mile. I've done a lot of things wrong from that day until now. Even my incredibly sweet, encouraging, inhumanely optimistic husband had doubts when we started this training plan. But it's working. I am experiencing little to no joint pain/inflammation on my runs and I have avoided injuring myself in a major way (so far).

So, let's take a look at what I'm doing differently THIS TIME.

New Sam	Old Sam
Has a set routine*	Did whatever, whenever.
Tailors strength training for running**	See above.
Has a running plan	See above.
Has a support system (that’s you folks & Matt)	Ran solo.
Varies running environments	Ran on a treadmill. Every time.
Has a concrete goal	Dreamed about stuff and things.
Listens to her body and rests when necessary	Rigidly adhered to unrealistic benchmarks.

^aka "got injured a lot"

*Routine:
5 minutes (minimum) of walking and dynamic stretches before every run
5 minutes (minimum) cool down walk and static stretches after every run
Cool shower post-stretch
Chocolate milk post-run recovery drink
Ice as necessary

**Strength training:
Exercises include things like planks, side planks, side squats, one leg chair squats, lunges, four part crunches, the sun salutation routine, regular squats, chair dips, pilates push-ups, calf lifts, resistance band leg lifts (side, front, back). I also stretch my hips, plantar fascia, and hamstrings regularly during the day when I remember/make myself do it.

What are your secrets to success?

New Milestone: Longest Run Ever

As of last night, I've set a new personal record for myself: longest distance/time ever run. Technically, it was more of a run/walk but I'll take it.

The previous "record", set just over two years ago, was about 45 minutes long. It was a memorable run because I pulled my infamous hip flexor muscle (the injury that has defined my running failures ever since). I followed up that injury (which immediately left me limping) by running a 5k that weekend and walking around San Antonio for three days the next week. Note to reader: don't do that. I could hardly walk at the end, and the muscle STILL plagues me today.

Last night's run, however, went significantly better. We ran/walked for over 60 minutes (not including warm up and cool down), at an average per mile pace of about 13:00. I tapped previously unknown resources to finish the last mile. My hip was definitely nagging me, but not painful. I stretched extensively post run and took a cool shower. Today, I'm trying to stretch it lots and give it a bit of a rest.

We covered, in total, about 4.6 miles. The splits, as far as I can figure, looked like this:

• Mile 1: (just under) 10:00min/mi.
• Mile 2: 12:30min/mi
• Mile 3: 14:50min/mi (lots and lots of hills here)
• Miles 4/5: average of 11:20

So, that's pretty spectacular. We definitely went out a little fast, which probably set us up for the big lull at Mile 3. I'm proud of our strong finish, however. I'm even MORE proud that I can walk today.

(The run itself got delayed from Saturday to Sunday because I spent all Saturday on my feet working at an antique blacksmith forge... needless to say, I was SUPER BEAT and had no interested in running 5 miles in that condition)

This puts another week in the books, which means we've raised the thermometer again:

Redemption: A Joyful Run (Part I)

(Looking for Part II?)

You may have read about my attitude problems from Saturday; it wasn't a particularly tough run, but I sure made it one. Post-run left me feeling a bit down on myself, and rather guilty. Matt and I talked about the issues we were having (I mostly listened), and I feel like we're in a better place. Before I get to the recap of Monday's run, I figured I would share some things that have kept me going this week.

First, this article, "Why Run: If lacing up is fun for you, you don't need a reason. The rest of us do" from the Newbie Chronicles column in the July issue of Runner's World mag. I love this whole series but the July article - about finding motivation to run when running sucks - really spoke to me. I found it while leafing through the magazine on Sunday, with all the weight of Saturday's failures on my mind. My favorite excerpt:

"I hated running for over a year. I know, hate is a strong word. You know what a stronger word is? Superhate. In my first year and a half, I superhated running every time I went out... What I've become is the person who will never quit running no matter how bad it sometimes feels." - Marc Parent

I can identify with that. Saturday was one of those days I superhated running. I'm really blessed right now to be in a place where I generally enjoy at least PART of a run, and I sometimes have really transcendent runs (like Monday) which make it all worth while. I definitely aspire to be the kind of person who will never quit running (barring serious injury or illness, of course).

Over the course of my life, I have rarely been what you would call "tenacious". In fact, I had a general tendency to quit things as soon as they got difficult or uncomfortable. I would quit anything, no matter the stakes. I quit things I loved, really really loved. Bullies in band? Just quit. Don't like your lab professor? Drop that class. Relationship not perfect? Dump 'em. Not the smartest kid at school anymore? Stop showing up.

Sometime after 20, I started to change. I was finally sober (after many half-hearted attempts). I had a steady grown-up job.  I started dating a very reliable/consistent/earthy guy (who became my husband). I became a Christian. I went to all my classes, even the ones I didn't like. I started running.

I remember, very clearly, the first time I actually ran a whole mile as an adult.  It was incredibly hard and emotional (I don't even remember how long it took). I ran it on a treadmill at 360 Fitness. I was huffing and puffing and wanted to quit, but I kept thinking about all the times I had quit before... and all the people who had defined me as unathletic (my stepdad, my siblings, my junior high gym coach, that 8th grade cheerleader bully, the jr. varsity softball team, those guys senior year of high school). I needed to prove to myself - just one time - that I could finish. something. hard. And I did. This single act, this decision to endure even though no one was watching, changed my life.

My first mile was a spiritual experience which opened so many personal doors for me. I cracked open the door to that part of my character which knew how to be tenacious, not just in running but in everything - marriage, faith, school, career. That's why I have to keep running, even when I superhate it. And like all things, my attitude DOES matter.

I aspire to maintain gratitude for the health which allows me to run at all; for the freedoms I enjoy as a woman in America; for the women runners who paved the way before me in the 60s and 70s; for my husband and partner; for all of you wonderful people whom I know and do not know, who visit this blog and leave wonderful inspirational comments; for the people and the God who never gave up on me.

(Continue on to PART II)

Forgot to log Wednesday!

The training plan for Wednesday had us listed at 25 minutes. We ended up running 30 minutes because Monday's 30 minute run got cut short to 25. It was an ok run. As I mentioned on Daily Mile, I somehow managed to get out the door without changing into my sports bra (my excuse: I had just woken up from a nap). It was pretty miserable. Some women can run comfortably without a sports bra. I am not one of them. I could have stopped, but figured I would lose this run altogether if I went home.

The consequences of not wearing a sports bra were pretty significant. Aside from the pain you might expect, it restricted my breathing and threw my whole posture out of whack. I got pretty grumpy towards my husband as a result, which is very lame and unfair. I'm working on it.  I had some problems on this run with allergies, but my breathing was pretty steady and returned to normal really quickly. I also had some discomfort in my ankles, but my other joints handled the run just fine. 

I definitely got pretty mopey at the end of the run. We weren't going fast enough, we hadn't run far enough, everything was bad, I wasn't made to run, I'd never be a "good" runner, blah blah blah. Matt tried to point out that 5 months ago I would not have been able to run for 30 minutes. He also tried to point out that 5 years ago, I couldn't (and wouldn't) run at all.

Seven years ago, I looked like this

Now, I look more like this

So I should be pretty grateful. I did not respond very well to Matt at first. The good news is that we DID make it all the way to 30 minutes; I've also managed to stay injury free this whole time, which is an awesome awesome accomplishment.

I've been thinking about run/walk ratios for the long run on Saturday (key part of Jeff Galloway's half marathon training plan for new and injury prone runners). This week is 3 miles, which I think I can do with no problem. He recommends a ratio of 3:00-1:00 (run/walk) for the 10 min/mi pace, or 2:00-1:00 for the 12 min/mi pace which I'm more likely to maintain for a whole 13k race. I feel really silly doing that on a "long run" of 3 miles.

I feel like I might be setting myself up for failure if I try to power through all the long runs by running continuously. I might start with the run/walk next week (long run of 4 miles) or the week after (long run of 5 miles). I want to push myself, but I don't want to injure myself or set unrealistic goals.

Anyway, I've got all of today to figure it out. Until next time... keep on truckin', friends.

May 7, 2012: The day I decided, on a whim, to run a half marathon.

 So how did I get here, anyway?

An innocuous Facebook link from a friend: “Who’s with me on this if I sign up?” A half marathon, in my very own city, five months away. A distance I have dreamed about running since I stumbled through my first mile.

I have never run a distance anywhere close to 13.1k. I’m not even particularly good at running, period. As a child, I looked like a runner – long and lean, I was the fastest girl in fourth grade. But then puberty happened. Suddenly, I sucked at running, and I hated it. I was not “built” for it. I was an intellectual. Blah blah blah.

My adult relationship with running began when my husband and I started dating in 2008. He was one of those “runners”, a bizarre subgroup of people I never expected to understand – much less associate with. I started running to spend time with him. It was a miserable, painful, and discouraging experience overall; I would push through the initial agony of starting a running regimen, achieve a modicum of success, and then get set back by injury or illness (a pulled groin, strained hip flexor, fibroid pain, bronchitis).

In spite of all this, something kept bringing me back to running: that ephemeral “high” that runners talk about, eyes glazed and distant. It’s a feeling of freedom, potential, and childlike glee; of absolute purpose and orientation. It is a defiant howl against every voice that has ever told me I’m too fat, too lazy, too defeatist, too much of a victim. I have only experienced it as a fleeting echo, typically bookended by frustration and weariness. I am determined to unlock it for good – to become “a runner”. 

But why a half marathon, you loony?

I don't know. I have never run that far before. I think in my heart of hearts, I just want to know if I can do it... and the only way to make myself train for it is to sign up for a race.

Down to the nitty-gritty.

Over the course of this long halting journey, I have learned a few things about myself. 

1. I am a social runner. I do best when I am running with other people. My husband is the ideal running partner. Fortunately for me, he has agreed to join me (somewhat skeptically) on this crazy venture. I'm also blessed with some running friends who are more boneheaded persistent than I am.
2. I am injury prone. I have to progress really gradually, and I do best when I incorporate some kind of low intensity calisthenic strength training like yoga or Pilates. I hate weight training, but it may be necessary to stay safe and fit when my schedule does not allow for fitness classes.
3. I need a goal, namely a race. This is the best way for me to “make” myself run, because I’m cheap and I flourish under structure. So, having a race marked on the calendar gives me both incentive and timeline. My first race was a Susan G. Komen 5k; since then, I have run two consecutive Warrior Dash races (we missed the third one, this past April, because I came down with a horrible case of bronchitis). It has basically come down to one race a year since I started running.
4. I need a schedule. See number 3.

So, soon to follow... a couple of training plans I'm looking at, and all that jazz.

Past races

Susan Komen Race for the Cure (Tyler, Texas) 2009, North Texas Warrior Dash 2010, North Texas Warrior Dash 2011