It won't always be easy

Today's run was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame. Yes. That many Os.

The good:Overall speed was acceptable (11:24 pace overall). We finished. I did not puke or anything else. I got out and ran even though I seriously didn't want to or feel like it.

The bad:
So much burping. Eww. My initial pace was a slow, pitiful crawl. Everything hurt and my legs felt like lead. I repeatedly wanted to quit and/or curl up in a ball and cry. Also, it felt really really hot (it was not that hot, maybe like 90F). Humidity was about 60%.

The ugly:
About 10 minutes in as we were getting ready to start the first speed interval, I accidentally yelled at Matt. I didn't feel angry at him before or after it happened, so we were both taken by surprise. It was basically one of those instances where I had to repeat myself because Matt couldn't hear me, and I let my tone get out of control.

With that run and all its emotional baggage behind me, I want to step back and evaluate some stuff.
Somehow, miraculously, this crazy plan is working. I've never done anything like this in my life. It is hard and unnatural. But folks, I just ran 5 3/4 miles on Saturday. I. Did. That. It's unbelievable.
It's been over a three and a half years since the first time I ran a mile. I've done a lot of things wrong from that day until now. Even my incredibly sweet, encouraging, inhumanely optimistic husband had doubts when we started this training plan. But it's working. I am experiencing little to no joint pain/inflammation on my runs and I have avoided injuring myself in a major way (so far).

So, let's take a look at what I'm doing differently THIS TIME.

New Sam	Old Sam
Has a set routine*	Did whatever, whenever.
Tailors strength training for running**	See above.
Has a running plan	See above.
Has a support system (that’s you folks & Matt)	Ran solo.
Varies running environments	Ran on a treadmill. Every time.
Has a concrete goal	Dreamed about stuff and things.
Listens to her body and rests when necessary	Rigidly adhered to unrealistic benchmarks.

^aka "got injured a lot"

*Routine:
5 minutes (minimum) of walking and dynamic stretches before every run
5 minutes (minimum) cool down walk and static stretches after every run
Cool shower post-stretch
Chocolate milk post-run recovery drink
Ice as necessary

**Strength training:
Exercises include things like planks, side planks, side squats, one leg chair squats, lunges, four part crunches, the sun salutation routine, regular squats, chair dips, pilates push-ups, calf lifts, resistance band leg lifts (side, front, back). I also stretch my hips, plantar fascia, and hamstrings regularly during the day when I remember/make myself do it.

What are your secrets to success?

Redemption: A Joyful Run (Part I)

(Looking for Part II?)

You may have read about my attitude problems from Saturday; it wasn't a particularly tough run, but I sure made it one. Post-run left me feeling a bit down on myself, and rather guilty. Matt and I talked about the issues we were having (I mostly listened), and I feel like we're in a better place. Before I get to the recap of Monday's run, I figured I would share some things that have kept me going this week.

First, this article, "Why Run: If lacing up is fun for you, you don't need a reason. The rest of us do" from the Newbie Chronicles column in the July issue of Runner's World mag. I love this whole series but the July article - about finding motivation to run when running sucks - really spoke to me. I found it while leafing through the magazine on Sunday, with all the weight of Saturday's failures on my mind. My favorite excerpt:

"I hated running for over a year. I know, hate is a strong word. You know what a stronger word is? Superhate. In my first year and a half, I superhated running every time I went out... What I've become is the person who will never quit running no matter how bad it sometimes feels." - Marc Parent

I can identify with that. Saturday was one of those days I superhated running. I'm really blessed right now to be in a place where I generally enjoy at least PART of a run, and I sometimes have really transcendent runs (like Monday) which make it all worth while. I definitely aspire to be the kind of person who will never quit running (barring serious injury or illness, of course).

Over the course of my life, I have rarely been what you would call "tenacious". In fact, I had a general tendency to quit things as soon as they got difficult or uncomfortable. I would quit anything, no matter the stakes. I quit things I loved, really really loved. Bullies in band? Just quit. Don't like your lab professor? Drop that class. Relationship not perfect? Dump 'em. Not the smartest kid at school anymore? Stop showing up.

Sometime after 20, I started to change. I was finally sober (after many half-hearted attempts). I had a steady grown-up job.  I started dating a very reliable/consistent/earthy guy (who became my husband). I became a Christian. I went to all my classes, even the ones I didn't like. I started running.

I remember, very clearly, the first time I actually ran a whole mile as an adult.  It was incredibly hard and emotional (I don't even remember how long it took). I ran it on a treadmill at 360 Fitness. I was huffing and puffing and wanted to quit, but I kept thinking about all the times I had quit before... and all the people who had defined me as unathletic (my stepdad, my siblings, my junior high gym coach, that 8th grade cheerleader bully, the jr. varsity softball team, those guys senior year of high school). I needed to prove to myself - just one time - that I could finish. something. hard. And I did. This single act, this decision to endure even though no one was watching, changed my life.

My first mile was a spiritual experience which opened so many personal doors for me. I cracked open the door to that part of my character which knew how to be tenacious, not just in running but in everything - marriage, faith, school, career. That's why I have to keep running, even when I superhate it. And like all things, my attitude DOES matter.

I aspire to maintain gratitude for the health which allows me to run at all; for the freedoms I enjoy as a woman in America; for the women runners who paved the way before me in the 60s and 70s; for my husband and partner; for all of you wonderful people whom I know and do not know, who visit this blog and leave wonderful inspirational comments; for the people and the God who never gave up on me.

(Continue on to PART II)